Friday, December 1, 2017

Reflections on International Lolita Day 2017

Hello blog,

Long time, no see. Frankly, I've been avoiding writing here because I was so embarrassed I had abandoned it for so long, the way I do with many things (Sorry Animal Crossing village!!). It is an unfortunate habit, but I must address it!

Today's post is going to be a reflection on the year as a whole as well as some introspection on the lolita goals I had set for myself at the beginning of the year. My comm had a small tea meet in January to make up for our lack of an ILD and decided to chat about goals in lolita.

I had a few goals that I wanted to achieve:

  1. Attend more meets.
  2. Make one old school coord.
  3. Make one ouji coord.
  4. Create a more active community.
Overall, I've had some mixed results. I've become mod of my community and hosted a majority of the meets we've had this year as our other mods have been out of state and country respectively. We held a meet almost every month (Fuck July and August in SoCal! Haha) and I've attended 1-2 meets every month. This is much better than my total of six meets last year!

As for coordinate creation, I definitely lacked in progress. My major purchases this year were two large Wunderwelt lots. They both contained a load of light colored blouses and cutsews, so if I ever want to become a daily lolita, I'm set in that regard. We'll go over actual numbers in the annual January wardrobe post next month. I have a good amount of old school appropriate tops and hair accessories but not a single main piece! How embarrassing. It's usually the opposite problem for me. I'm a bit picky when it comes to main pieces now so I have to be very certain before I buy. I had my eye on a lovely skirt and maxi-pad headdress set from Baby and Mam Maxicimam respectively but I waited too long and someone swooped it up when it went on sale. Good things may come to those who wait, but nothing comes to those who wait too long!

Ouji is a world I will have to wait another year for to venture into. As much as I love the style and know it will be flattering on me (being a walking string bean and all), it is a whole new set of investments I must make to have a few coords. For a skeleton wardrobe, I'd need at least one pair of shorts and one pair of pants, a vest, and a jacket. Shorts and pants are tricky because again, I am picky about the styles I like. Jackets tend to be as expensive as main pieces in lolita and have more fit issues due to the nature of the garment. I also have no clue how to style hair still so I need some cute boy style wigs.

2017 as a whole has been a fairly good year. I'm finishing up with college so I had a little more free time over the year to dedicate to attending and hosting more meets and being involved online. I became moderator of my community as mentioned before as well as moderator for Lolita Updates and Rufflechat. At this point, Orange County has established a good cast of regular attendees that I love and enjoy spending time with. Several of us have hung out casually outside of lolita. After meets, we tend to hang out for even longer going to a mall or walking around antique shops. It's really lovely to have a small tight-knit community that isn't constantly changing. Our community is very open about issues we encounter, socially and otherwise. We haven't had personal drama since one of the old mods decided to flounce.

I feel that my personal growth within lolita has developed a lot this year. Becoming a moderator gives you a very different perspective on how lolita communities operate. I've had to learn a lot of patience and thoughtfulness in my manners online. I'm a bit crass or careless in my interactions so gaining tact is vital! Especially when I am in a position of "power". Power in quotes, obviously, because it's a lolita community, haha! Not some big organization with money involved and thank goodness for that.

I've learned a lot about event planning as well. Admittedly, I've had some downfalls this year. We had a book club meet with So Pretty, Very Rotten which was something I'd wanted to do since it was released. I hadn't expected the popularity of the meet so when I checked the headcount a little less than a week before the meet, I was flabbergasted. Sixteen people! How in the hell was I going to fit this many people in a restaurant? I asked everyone and sent out messages, "Hey are you sure you are coming to this?" We had a few people swap around but the count remained about the same. I called in to the planned restaurant and they blatantly said, "No. We don't want that many people here on the weekend because we are so busy." I may or may not have cried for a good two minutes. From there on, it was a scramble to find anyone, ANYONE to take such a big party. We even checked in with a tea house who could handle it but would need a deposit and with so little time beforehand, there was no way we could get that together. Finally, we gave up and went to a large chain restaurant with a private party room that was just down the road. I make the announcement, prayed all these people would still come, and waited for the day to arrive. Bam, it's Saturday and I'm running fifteen minutes late as always. I get to the location and a few of my wonderful comm members have already been signed in and seated. We wait and wait. We order breakfast. As it ends up, literally half of the people on the attending list flaked. I was annoyed to say the least. If we had this many people in the first place, we certainly could have gone to the first and fancier restaurant. It was embarrassing enough to have a location change just a handful of days before the actual event but it wasn't even necessary in the first place.

We're trying again with a paid meet up for ILD. I wish we had started planning it a bit earlier but it can be difficult when you're doing things all by yourself with no experience whatsoever. I recruited a good friend to help out and am incredibly thankful for her support. She is very good at calling people and getting them to do what she wants! A skill I aim to acquire one day, haha. I've never been someone who's good at thinking far in advance so this event planning is really forcing me to shape up! You would think a month would be plenty of time but it goes by so quickly. I will have to write an entry on planning and hosting meets with all the lessons I have learned.

This entry is getting full up and I am a little pooped, so I'll wrap it up for now. Happy International Lolita day! I hope your weekend is lovely and full of elegance, whether you celebrate with an enormous comm and a fancy tea party or at home with Kamikaze girls on your laptop and a pair of OTKs.


  1. Such a shame that you had to change your meet location last minute and had so many people bail out literally on the day. That's a massive bummer. My comm has a 3 strike rule: every meet will have its Facebook event page (so one change to say if you're coming) and then nearer to date there'll be a "Like this post if you're definitely coming" post to confirm. If you've confirmed then and didn't show up without notifying the meet organiser (no later than 2 hours prior to the meeting time), you get a strike, three strikes and you're banned from attending the next three main monthly meets. And similar stuff for meet organisers too. Since imposing that rule, I don't think anyone has flaked out so last minute, I am definitely yet to encounter someone getting a meet ban, so it works for us. Maybe a rule like this would work for your comm?

    I've only just come across your blog, not realising that this was a 'back from the dead' kind of post :P but I really enjoyed reading your reflections on how you've done with your Lolita goals. Hopefully this will be the start of more blogging for you. :)

    Happy New Year!

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